Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize