I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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