I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
