dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
