Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
