i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
