Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
