It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
