I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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