You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
