This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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