My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do vagina's smell?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
