Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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