All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
