Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Plan B is the new Plan A
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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