i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
