i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
