They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize