So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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