This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
