Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
