Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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