I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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