I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
