Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
