I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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