First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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