Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
