theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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