my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
