Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
