PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize