goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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