I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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