Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
