She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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