Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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