i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
