Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
