i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
