Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize