Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
