I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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