Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize