Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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