we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
