you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
