ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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