Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
