do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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