The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
