Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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