you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
