I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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