Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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