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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm moving there. Get me hired.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?

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• (631): View more from New York

  You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.

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• (+43): View more from

  my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

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• (315): View more from New York

  This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I just cured my dogs munchies

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.

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• (408): View more from California

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT

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• (607): View more from New York

  He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Keep him.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween

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