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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
