I'm jealous of your bromance
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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